Today has been very long. It's part of the mourning process. Having lost Bill in May 2013, the days seem much longer, the nights drag on, yet I find myself staying up until midnight many nights. Crazy!
People who have never lost a spouse don't understand what it is like. I'm at that point in my life when I really don't know where I fit in, yet I know God has plans for me. He has work for me to do. I know that joy comes soon! It just takes time to work through the loss as I learn to live in solitude--just me and God. Learning who I am is a journey, a good journey despite the times of sadness. For the most part, I have good days.........just every now and then the sadness comes.
As I learn what life is like without a mate, I question many things. I do my best to pray about things and to hear what God is telling me, but there are times when I am unsure and wonder if I heard right. I'm so thankful for God's grace and His mercy.
As Paul Manwaring (Bethel Church, Redding, CA) said, it is better to make a decision and move on, rather than to never make a decision out of fear of being wrong. He went on to say, "God is going to dance with you." Even if it's not exactly the way God would have done it, He is proud of me. God wants me to make decisions based on my trust in Him. I have had to trust Him in so many areas of my life, He has been dancing with me every step of the way.
I often forget how much God loves me, but He keeps reminding me. I am learning of His love as He shines His favor upon my life, as He woos me to show me just how much He cares, and as He talks to me through everyday circumstances.
So as I write, my spirit is lifted and a smile is upon my face, because I know how much Jesus cares for me. He will never leave nor forsake me.
So, my Jewel for you today..........trust God in whatever you are going through, whether you have lost a spouse, are in financial debt, need a breakthrough, etc. Join Jesus in the dance as he guides and leads you.
Blessing to you! Jesus Loves You!
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